The Shy Guy

Hi there,
I work in a cafe and there’s this boy that comes in all the time. He is quiet and cute. And he always sits by himself and reads. And pretends not to look at me. But then I keep catching him. And I kinda want to talk to him. But he is really shy and I don’t want to scare him away. Should I wait for him to make the first move?
Help
Lindsey

Dear Lindsey,
He’s not going to make the first move. Go up to him (when you’re not working), pull the book out of his hands and throw it on the table (don’t lose his spot otherwise he’ll hate you forever), yank of his glasses and kiss him long and hard. If he doesn’t respond or doesn’t know what to do next, move on. He’s not worth your time.

Go get him tiger!
Mr Knightley

The Hardest Choice

Dear Mr. Knightley, 

I am divided about writing to you. Partly because I think I already know what you’re gonna say and partly because I have no idea what to do. You see, there are these two guys in my life right now. And they both mean a lot to me. And I feel a lot for them. But now Prom is coming up and I have to chose between them. And I don’t know who to chose….

Erick is really nice and funny and we get along really well (actually we work together so we see each other almost every day) and I know he likes me because he’s basically told me in every possible way except saying it out right. And I think the only reason he won’t is because he doesn’t want to ruin our friendship if I say no. 

Then there’s Ben. He’s smart, and handsome, and I’ve had a crush on him for a while now. And he’s finally started to pay attention to me. Not that he didn’t before. We were friends but we never really had a chance to spend time together just the two of us. But now we’ve started going to coffee together, just as friends, and reading books together, and it feels so good. 

I would feel like a jerk if I went to Prom with Ben, because of how long Erick has been basically in love with me. But I can’t help thinking that Ben and I fit together better and that we would have a better chance to maybe find love if we had a chance to spend more time together. I guess what I’m stuck between is what I feel I want to do and what I feel I should do. 

Any Ideas?

Divided Heart

Which one to chose

My Dear Divided,

I’m so very glad to have you as my first letter. Especially seeing as this letter pertains to my special talent, namely finding the right match for every single person left in Yorkshire and after that, the world. You see, love is such a wonderful thing there is no real reason for anyone to keep such a silly notion as singleness for long.

I would advise that you find out as soon as possible, whether or not this Ben has any kind of intention towards you. You may write him a letter, or you may have one of your friends ask one of his friends. But either way, ascertain an answer as soon as possible, so that you can find out if he is even worth considering. If he is, then go for him, for if Erick’s love is really as true and ardent as you have described, he shall only grow the more steadfast while you pursue Ben. And then if it doesn’t work out with Ben you know you always have Erick to fall back on.

I know this must sound terrible, but really, is it that wrong? You may find truest love with Ben and that is definitely worth the risk. And if Erick does not wait for you, then it may not have been real love after all, and then you have avoided quite a serious future entanglement. Test Erick’s love while also attempting Ben’s and you shall never find yourself wanting in admirers.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Jenings