Tag Archives: love

How to Write a Letter of Unrequited Love

Dear mr knightley

I’m in love with a boy who doesn’t love me. I’ve decided to write him a latter about how I feel. But I don’t know what to say. What would you write?

Sincerely,
Wordless

Sent from my iPhone

quil letter written regency era

What to say, what to say…

Dear Wordless,

Well. If I were to write a letter such as this it would probably begin by saying how very glad I am that he is reading the letter. Then I would use that to transition into saying how he makes me happy.

Some men (who shan’t be mentioned) might say how in vain they have struggled but how it is not to be helped. That they ardently love. Against their reason and better judgement. While this sounds romantic it is in fact a bad idea. Because you would be telling the person you love that you wish you didn’t have to love them but you have to. Like getting a bad pair of stockings for Christmas and having to wear them.

I would be honest and genuin. I would say how I feel. And also that I understand that he doesn’t feel the same way. And that this letter does not come with any new expectation. That it is simply something I must get off my chest to be honest.

Of course, I would then also add that perhaps at the next village ball I may enjoy a dance or merely a turn about the room. Your gentleman friend may be a bit more at ease with that.

Best of luck, Wordless. May you find the right words.

Cordially,
Mr Knightley

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The Long Distance Dream… or Delusion

Dear Mr Knightley

Senior year ended for me and I’m getting ready to go to college in Vermont, while my girlfriend stays here in Utah. She has this crazy, unrealistic fantasy that we will keep our relationship going long distance. She knows I want to travel, that Vermont is only the beginning and after that I want to move to Europe or Australia. But she also insists that right now she wants to stay closer to her mother, who has leukemia. I feel like a jerk for saying this but, how do I break it off with her?

Thanks,

Eric

Trying to Reach Each Other

Trying to Cross the Distance 

Dear Eric,

Major life choices like this are hard, but its better for her that you don’t leave things open ended or uncertain. It will hurt her and she is in a place where she could really use a shoulder to lean on. But that’s what she has friends and family for right now anyway. The best thing you can do for her is to break it off completely if you plan on breaking it off. Don’t try to give her hope,because that is false hope and she deserves at least your honesty. It will be extremely hard for you,but be strong and be a real man. Have the courage to tell her the truth about how you feel.

Sincerely,

Mr. Knightley


She Already Has A Boyfriend

Dear Mr. Knightley, 

I have a problem. I am in love with one of my best friends’ friends. But she’s in a relationship. And I know its wrong and I know I should stay clear of her, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before. No other relationship I’ve ever had has felt this way, this real. It’s hard to describe. Just thinking of her makes me feel warm and funny and I start grinning like some idiot. And I can’t even speak around her and my heart starts beating like crazy and I feel sick to my stomach. Since she and my best friend are friends, we spend a lot of time together, just the three of us. Which is so terrible because I know I should stay away from her but when I’m away from her I can’t stop thinking about her. I don’t know what to do. I can’t stay away from her. I can’t stop thinking about her. But I want to respect her relationship too. I don’t know what to do. It all feels so hopeless.

-Kyle

Three's a Crowd

Dear Kyle,

I am very sorry to hear about your sad situation. You are not alone. There are many men who are in similar situations as your own. Too often it seems love’s arrows only land where we cannot retrieve them. You are right in saying that you should not associate with the young lady. But it is definitely easier said than done. Love can be so painful and yet addictive all at the same time. One can often feel torn between what one knows one ought to do and what one wants to do.

However, you may want to consider some personal questions first. Do you feel that this is truly more than a passing fancy? Then you may wish to wait it out, remaining only her friend, until such time as you may be able to make your suit. However, know that your chance may never come if you do that. If at all possible you may wish rather to break off the friendship all together. It will be hard and painful but not as painful as the thousand and one small deaths you will die each time you are forced to be in her company and know that you may never reveal your true intentions to her.

Know that which ever route you take you will be forced to endure hardships. But both ends will be well worth it. If you decide to remain by her side it will not be easy. But if you are able to finally tell her how you truly feel, it will be a well deserved reward. If you decide to forgo her company, then it will also be difficult. However, when you finally do find that special girl whose love you may pursue freely, you will be glad to have cut all these ties you feel now. So know that while both paths are difficult, both may be well worth it in the end of the day.

Cordially,
Mr. Knightley


The Hardest Choice

Dear Mr. Knightley, 

I am divided about writing to you. Partly because I think I already know what you’re gonna say and partly because I have no idea what to do. You see, there are these two guys in my life right now. And they both mean a lot to me. And I feel a lot for them. But now Prom is coming up and I have to chose between them. And I don’t know who to chose….

Erick is really nice and funny and we get along really well (actually we work together so we see each other almost every day) and I know he likes me because he’s basically told me in every possible way except saying it out right. And I think the only reason he won’t is because he doesn’t want to ruin our friendship if I say no. 

Then there’s Ben. He’s smart, and handsome, and I’ve had a crush on him for a while now. And he’s finally started to pay attention to me. Not that he didn’t before. We were friends but we never really had a chance to spend time together just the two of us. But now we’ve started going to coffee together, just as friends, and reading books together, and it feels so good. 

I would feel like a jerk if I went to Prom with Ben, because of how long Erick has been basically in love with me. But I can’t help thinking that Ben and I fit together better and that we would have a better chance to maybe find love if we had a chance to spend more time together. I guess what I’m stuck between is what I feel I want to do and what I feel I should do. 

Any Ideas?

Divided Heart

Making a choice

Which one to chose

My Dear Divided,

I’m so very glad to have you as my first letter. Especially seeing as this letter pertains to my special talent, namely finding the right match for every single person left in Yorkshire and after that, the world. You see, love is such a wonderful thing there is no real reason for anyone to keep such a silly notion as singleness for long.

I would advise that you find out as soon as possible, whether or not this Ben has any kind of intention towards you. You may write him a letter, or you may have one of your friends ask one of his friends. But either way, ascertain an answer as soon as possible, so that you can find out if he is even worth considering. If he is, then go for him, for if Erick’s love is really as true and ardent as you have described, he shall only grow the more steadfast while you pursue Ben. And then if it doesn’t work out with Ben you know you always have Erick to fall back on.

I know this must sound terrible, but really, is it that wrong? You may find truest love with Ben and that is definitely worth the risk. And if Erick does not wait for you, then it may not have been real love after all, and then you have avoided quite a serious future entanglement. Test Erick’s love while also attempting Ben’s and you shall never find yourself wanting in admirers.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Jenings

 

 


Betraying the Vow…

Dear Mr. Knightley,

My question’s a bit complicated. My girlfriend and I met in college freshman year at Georgia Tech. We instantly hit it off and we were totally and completely in love. Completely. But school cost a lot of money and so we made a plan. While I went and finished school, she took on more shifts at her job, to help cover the rest of the expenses. And the deal was when I finished, we would switch. 

But things have gotten a lot more complicated since then. 

For starters my career is really taking off and we will need to move to New York. But there aren’t any schools that specialize in the area she wants to go. And there’s something else. We now have a two year old daughter named Sophie. 

I know we made the deal all those years ago, but I really don’t think keeping it will be a good idea right now. My careers is taking off and I need to be able to really put in some energy and effort to get it going right now. Plus, I want us to actually get married before Sophie gets much older and, I won’t lie, I would actually prefer to have her stay home and be there for Sophie. I know it sounds selfish but the job can really help us to live comfortably and I only want whats best for all of us. I haven’t spoken to my wife about it yet. I know I should. I just, I don’t know, I was hoping maybe you’d be able to give me some advice or a perspective on things that can help me out. 

Thank you so much and feel free to post this one to the site, 

Dealor NoDeal

 

 

 

Dear Dealor,

It is indeed quite the predicament you find yourself. And while I completely understand the motivations behind your thoughts, you have also already divined my thoughts on the matter. If you wish to spend the rest of your days with this woman, and if you claim to love her, as I’m sure you truly do, then you must be able to confide in her and trust her to understand your thoughts.

In the end of the day, you are honourbound to keep the promise you made to this lady. It does not matter how inconvenient or how much self sacrifice is required. She sacrificed in order for you to have reached your current position. You must, if she requires it of you, keep your promise to her, regardless of any changes in circumstance.

However, do not immediately assume that she will want to keep the vow. She may already have thought about many of these things. And she may have some solutions that you have not had the opportunity to think of. I believe that you will find that she is just as aware of the change in circumstances as you are, and that she will also be aware that the terms may have to change. But at the end of the day, you must still be completely willing to keep the vow you made to her in your youth, and you must be willing to do it with the selfsame spirit of charity and grace that she had when she first bore the first part of the agreement.

Cordially,
Mr Knightley

 


A Cousin Courtship

Dear Mr. Knightley,

So I met this girl. And we totally clicked. I mean we get along really well and everything. Better than any gf I’ve had before. But the problem is last week was my big family reunion. And I ran into her there. Because turns out she’s my 2nd cousin, or something like that. Anyway, what do I do? We were already dating. But now I’m not sure if we should keep dating. Help!

-Kissing Cousin

Look but don't touch

Dear Kissing,

I think I understand your predicament. You must be worried that if you pursue your cousin people may question your motives. And it is true that many times close family marriages do occur for reason that are less than honorable. And this is all the more complicated when there are estates and titles involved.

Of course, if you are the entailed and your cousin one of the daughters of the current estate holder it does make things easier because you would be fulfilling your duty to your family and no one would be questioning your honor. However, if that is not the case, and if there is no apparent benefit for either of your resulting from the match, rest assured that society will most definitely make a scandal. Especially if you are spending the season in town.

My advice is that you would not want to comprise your own honor or the honor of your cousin. So I would recommend that perhaps if she is in town, you should go into the country, or vice versa. Allowing some room may give you better perspective to evaluate whether or not this is a proper and honorable relationship for both of you. It will also test the feelings you now share, to see if in fact they are truly as strong as they seem at this time.

Cordially,
Mr. Knightley


Getting Tangled in the Undergrowth…

Dear Mr. Knightley, 

I am not a lady to throw myself in the path of other men; on the contrary, I am twice as likely to throw myself off of it…especially when the man is one I admire.

I know this is most impractical. Firstly, however, I am terribly shy. Secondly, I cannot shake the feeling that to pursue the object of my admiration under pretenses of friendship would be dishonest. For I feel, you see, so much more, though I am hardly well-enough acquainted with the gentleman to justify more direct flirtation.

But I tire of hiding in bushes as my gentleman passes by. It is degrading, and further more, I’m beginning to acquire leaf stains on all my favorite frocks. In short, I most humbly beg your advice.

I am yours, etc.

Offroaded Admirer

 

 

 

Dear Offroaded,

Let me begin first by saying that those women who throw themselves so wantonly in the path of men at the blink of an eye are most certainly not acting as any true lady ought to. A lady does herself no favor in so desperately pursuing a man, no matter what his rank may be. For not only will her motives be questioned but she will also find that men take greatest delight in the pursuit of a beautiful woman but when they find their target too readily or too easily, they often lose interest fairly quickly. It is much better to let a gentleman pursue you, giving him small signs and tokens of affection but holding back slightly, as to arouse his curiosity and enhance your own air of mystery. But keep in mind, having a reception too cold, too modest, or too dignified may thwart a gentleman’s suit all together.

However, it seems to me that your currently methods, of throwing yourself off the path all together, may mean that you never even reach this point. A gentleman cannot pursue your heart if he does not have the opportunity to do so. This is why it is so vital to stay upon the road. Even as the wanton must resist pitching themselves at the gentleman, the trepidatious must resist the urge to flee. Love requires bravery, as all things of true worth do.

Regarding your thoughts on using friendship, there is a crucial difference to be grasped. Pursuing the object of your desire under the pretense of friendship is dishonorable indeed, however, pursuing the honest friendship of the one you desire is in no way dishonorable. It is only in knowing him a little better that you may realize if he truly is the man of integrity and honor that his impressions have painted him to be. And it may be that in gaining your friendship that small ember of love may be quickened in his heart as well.

Let me warn you though from bitter truths reaped from my own path, it is by no means easy, to be so close and intimate with the one you truly love and respect and regard above all others, and to know that they may not ever see you in the same light. But a very wise man once wrote, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. And Love conquors all.”

If what you feel is so strong, then draw strength from it and stand strong upon the road. Let him draw nearer to you, and draw near to him as well. Learn to know your gentleman a bit better and allow him to know you more. It is only this way that mutual admiration and regard can blossom into the sweetest of all life’s blooms.

Cordially,

Mr. Knightley

Post Script. You may find this helpful in dealing with your stained frocks http://janeaustensworld.wordpress.com/2007/07/24/every-day-chores-of-laundry-and-scullery-maids-and-washer-women/