Author Archives: mrsjenings

The Almost Murder

Dear Mrs Jenings, 

My husband recently returned from the war in Afghanistan. He’s been acting strangely and not like himself. He spends most of his days sitting on the couch staring at the blank tv or in his garage cleaning his knives. I feel like I live with a complete stranger. I thought that if I were to try and talk to him then maybe he’d open up about what happened so I can help fix him. But instead he got angry. Very angry. He started yelling and screaming and pulled out one of his knives. He was saying that I was attacking him and that I should just accept him as he is instead of trying to change him. But he’s the one who has changed! Anyway, he sort of snapped out of it and dropped the knife and then started crying and apologizing. I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel safe around him anymore. Please help. 

-Tam 

Loosing his Temper

Dear Tam,

Well, now, love is like that sometimes, is it not. One moment you’re perfectly happy and the next you can’t stand to be around the person. Lovers’ quarrels are quick to mend though, so don’t fear too much my dear. And many a man has gone through things that causes them to change. Few people, yourself included, always stay the same way, I wager. Now, regarding this whole knife collection business, well, men need their hobbies. You should consider yourself lucky he didn’t take up shooting instead. Its easier to pull a knife back then to pull shot back.

Now, that all being said, while attempted murder of a spouse is certainly not unheard of, I do think it is in bad taste, at least in the current fashions. So it would seem best to avoid your demise. There are several ways of doing this. You could ask him to see a therapist but he probably won’t and most likely would just get angry again. You could just leave him, but that’s in bad taste too, since you will have to live with this unresolved at the back of your mind. Also, many a man thrown into a situation like that, especially the unstable ones, have actually gone after the women who left them. And once again your unfortunate end would seem unavoidable. So it would seem the best course of action, when you can’t change the other person, is to seem to change yourself. You’ll notice I said, seem. That is because once you have the appearance of acquiescence his guard will be lowered and you will find your influence much easier over him.

Best of luck my dear, and do not get too discouraged if it takes a bit of time. Sometimes you can simply wear a man down. They like to think that they are so strong and solid but they all give in eventually. They always do. Just keep at it.

Mrs. Jenings

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An Indecent Proposal

Dear Mr Knightley and Mrs. Jenings, 

So I’ll just give you the short version. My boyfriend proposed to me. And I told him no. Not because I don’t love him, but because we’re just not at a good place right now. We’re living together and its been super stressful trying to balance that with work and going to school as well. Right now I almost feel like I need a break from a relationship, not to be starting a deeper and more complicated chapter in our lives. Of course he took it personally and now he’s talking about moving out. Honestly, I almost feel like that would be better. But I also don’t want to lose him. Because like I said, I do love him. I feel really trapped right now and I don’t have any close friends here in Boston so I was hoping I could try to bounce this off of you two and see if either of you had some advice. I know you’re trying to be clever or funny with this blog but a lot of the stuff I’ve seen on here have been surprisingly good. So thanks. I look forward to your answer. If you don’t want to feature this one on the blog you can just email me at (email removed). 

Thanks, 

Kelsey 

The Proposal

The Wrong Question

My Dear Kelsey,

You are quite a smart girl indeed. For you have behaved very well in this situation. You are still young and I daresay many a young gentleman may still court your hand. Taking the very first offer of marriage you receive would be foolishness indeed! Now as for the young man, you must not let him feel too down hearted. That is not to say accept his proposal. Only make sure that he feels that there is still some hope. Do not let him feel like some jilted lover, but rather that he is just another poor wretch suffering under Cupid heavy burden of unrequited love. That way if you find, in time of course, that you do in fact wish to be his wife, you may finally “come round” and return his feelings. He will feel all the greater for having endured loves trials and prevailed, as all men do feel when they get to conquer something, and you may have the satisfaction of knowing that you have made a choice to ensure you own happiness forever.

Regarding this whole matter of living together, it may be difficult to keep him at a distance far enough to entertain other suitors if he does live with you. So perhaps severing your current arrangement would be best. Only again, make sure to ensure his affection for you before you sever it. This is of the utmost importance!

Best of luck dear girl!

Mrs. Jenings


The Hardest Choice

Dear Mr. Knightley, 

I am divided about writing to you. Partly because I think I already know what you’re gonna say and partly because I have no idea what to do. You see, there are these two guys in my life right now. And they both mean a lot to me. And I feel a lot for them. But now Prom is coming up and I have to chose between them. And I don’t know who to chose….

Erick is really nice and funny and we get along really well (actually we work together so we see each other almost every day) and I know he likes me because he’s basically told me in every possible way except saying it out right. And I think the only reason he won’t is because he doesn’t want to ruin our friendship if I say no. 

Then there’s Ben. He’s smart, and handsome, and I’ve had a crush on him for a while now. And he’s finally started to pay attention to me. Not that he didn’t before. We were friends but we never really had a chance to spend time together just the two of us. But now we’ve started going to coffee together, just as friends, and reading books together, and it feels so good. 

I would feel like a jerk if I went to Prom with Ben, because of how long Erick has been basically in love with me. But I can’t help thinking that Ben and I fit together better and that we would have a better chance to maybe find love if we had a chance to spend more time together. I guess what I’m stuck between is what I feel I want to do and what I feel I should do. 

Any Ideas?

Divided Heart

Making a choice

Which one to chose

My Dear Divided,

I’m so very glad to have you as my first letter. Especially seeing as this letter pertains to my special talent, namely finding the right match for every single person left in Yorkshire and after that, the world. You see, love is such a wonderful thing there is no real reason for anyone to keep such a silly notion as singleness for long.

I would advise that you find out as soon as possible, whether or not this Ben has any kind of intention towards you. You may write him a letter, or you may have one of your friends ask one of his friends. But either way, ascertain an answer as soon as possible, so that you can find out if he is even worth considering. If he is, then go for him, for if Erick’s love is really as true and ardent as you have described, he shall only grow the more steadfast while you pursue Ben. And then if it doesn’t work out with Ben you know you always have Erick to fall back on.

I know this must sound terrible, but really, is it that wrong? You may find truest love with Ben and that is definitely worth the risk. And if Erick does not wait for you, then it may not have been real love after all, and then you have avoided quite a serious future entanglement. Test Erick’s love while also attempting Ben’s and you shall never find yourself wanting in admirers.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Jenings