Tag Archives: caught

Stealing Her Husband Away

Dear Mr. Knightley, 

I am at my whits end! You see I think my husband has taken a mistress. Of course, there are many noble men who have mistresses but I cannot help to feel like I have been cast off, ill used, and forgotten. We own a large house on a college campus and so we often rent out rooms to help make ends meet. Well, one of our new tenants has a love for vintage books (my husband collects the stupid things) and now they are off every saturday to go parous the bookstores and garage sales and then they’re pouring over things in our small library at all hours of the day and night. I know you must think its all my head but I tell you its not. She’s stealing him away from me. The way she brushes seemingly innocently against him when she passes by or pretends to hand things to him but then accidentaly touches his hand! The other night I decided to see for myself so I snuck down the hall without making any noise to the library. I could hear their talking inside and then there was a thumping sound, and I knew that was it. So I opened the door and there they were, both on the floor and her face red from giggling. And when they both turned to look at me you could just see the guilt on their faces. And then afterward she has the nerve to come and try and talk to me and tell me it wasn’t what it looked liek and that they just dropped a book or something. She obviously thinks I’m pretty stupid! I am trying not to let on that I know exactly whats going on, I figure that way I can let them hang themselves when they think that they are getting away with it. What do you think Mr. Knightley? Am I wrong? I’m not, right! They deserve what’s coming to them! I’m the one that was the victim here. I’m the one that was wronged! I can’t just let them treat me like this. 

-Final Straw

A Small Distraction

Dear Final,

It is always a sad occasion when a loved one’s love begins to wander. And while it is regrettable, you must now ask yourself what you will do. Some women may believe their spouses regardless of whether or not they think they should and give them the benefit of the doubt. Others may play along as if they do not know whats happening only to suddenly and swiftly take their revenge. There are even some ladies I have heard of who have made arranegments with their husbands that either party may entertain others at their own discretion. However, before you jump to any or all of these, I would suggest that you speak with your husband about this. Yes, he will most likely be defensive, but if he still cares for you, he will also listen, and the two of you may be able to work things out before they quite possibly needlessly come to a head. Either way, if you’re having martial problems because of the young lady in question, you should ask her to move out first. This will bring much needed clarity to the situation. And as a final word of reccomendation, I would suggest that you show some interest in your husband’s passions. His fedility may not actually be on the line, but rather, he may simply be responding to someone showing mutual interest in the things he values. You do not need to enjoy vintage books. Rather, enjoy the joy and excitement that they bring to him. If your marriage is to survive this ordeal, you shall both have to find some sort of common ground to build it up.

Cordially,

Mr. Knightley


Caught in the Act….

Dear Mr. Knightley, 

I’m so embaressed. Oh my god I cant believe I’m even writing this. Yesteday my boyfriend came over and we were in my room making out  and stuff and my mom came in and saw us(details removed) She doesn’t know we’re dating cause she and my dad said I can’t date till I’m out of high school but I’m a senior and she’s just driving me crazy! They’re super religios and like that.Anyway she didn’t yell or anything but didn’t say anything either so I don’t know. Should I just let it go and not bring it up? It’s super awkward and I kinda want to just tell them its my life, you know! Anyway, should I confront them or just act like nothing happened? I don’t know what to do.

-Akward Silence

Ps. I may not been wearing (details removed) when she came in…Actually he was just about to(details removed)  and then I (more details removed) but that was it.

Lovers caught in the act

An inopportune moment

Dear Awkard,

Well, I… I um…. let me just see here. I hope you do not mind but I did take the liberty of editing some of the more… extravagant details from your message. I mean no disrespect of course, I am merely thinking of the sensitivities of some of my readers. But I do think your question is a valid one and should be answered.

In short, I think that experience often proves that heeding the advice of someone older and wiser can be very much in your favor. And your parents can only be seeking your best interest and advancement in attempting to limit the amount of men in your life at this point in time. You may mistakingly place your affection in a fortune hunter or perhaps a man of less noble intentions, only to have your heart and dreams shattered. Not to speak of your own and your family’s honor. Now is the season of life that you should be refining yourself, polishing all of your finest skills and noble traits that an honorable man will seek in his future companion.

Regardless of whether you head my advice or not, I would strongly recommend you go to your parents and attempt to make amends. No matter how poorly their parenting may have been or how strongly you feel their interest conflicted concerning your future, they are still your parents after all and unless you are considering elopement (which ends poorly more often than not) you will have to live with them for maybe some considerable amount of time. Go to your mother, contrite and with humility, and ask her forgiveness. Sincerely if at all possible, but in the very least, for both your own comfort and her own, with the appearance of sincerity.

Youth can be a most trying season, and often it seems the end of the world. This is the magnificence of youth, to see all in greatest wonder and terror. When looking back, you’ll see the insignificance of many of your current tragedies. But you will also have something else. The flames you kindle now will be the sweetest to your memory, the loves the dearest to your heart. Take great care where you plant your affection, for it will be present with you for the rest of your days.

Cordially,
Mr. Knightley

Post Script: Again, I mean no offense but for future correspondence sake here is a small note: the correct spelling is embarrassed, yesterday, and religious.