Dear Mr Knightly,
I hope this letter finds you well. I am sure you will pardon me for forgoing the niceties and getting straight to the matter at hand.
You see, during the last few months, I have found myself developing feelings for a close male friend. I have known him for 5 years now, but something changed over the last few months, and I found myself beginning to think of him more often, and in a different light. We started getting closer than before, glances were exchanged, and hands were held. But you see, as of lately, he has started becoming distant. Unfortunately, my heart still lies with him. I think of him constantly, I crave his company, I am at unease without his presence.
I haven’t had a proper night’s sleep in ages, Mr Knightly. I must confess, I dearly miss it. I am waiting for these feelings to pass but it seems to be taking longer than usual.
I do not wish to confront my friend. We have had issues in our friendship in the past and have managed to sort them recently and are enjoying a quiet phase. I would not want to ruin that.
Please advise as to what I should do to move on, Mr Knightly. I’m waiting for my heart to return home, how do I quicken its journey?
That special touch
Dear Miss Sloan,
Thank you so much for your letter. Let me just say that I praise your bravery in writing about something obviously so close to your heart. Your situation is truly a troubling one. But I hope that I may be of some assistance.
It sounds to me that your gentleman friend may either be distancing himself form you because he is pursing another and does not wish to hurt you. Or it may be that he, in his glances and hand holding, was pursuing you and hoping for some sign of his affection returned. You are the only one who knows the particulars of the situation and which of these two scenarios seem more likely.
If he is pursuing another then you should no longer seek out his company, since it is not honorable for him, the other lady, or yourself. Also, if you are not so much around him, it will help to ease the longing. Remove from your possession all that reminds you of him. Spend time with other friends and engage in other activities to keep your mind occupied and slowly over time you shall no longer find so much pain in his memory. However, if he made his suit and felt rebuffed by you, then by all means, make a point to spend time in his company and allow him to see that the affection and admiration he felt is mutual.
However, most of all, I would have to stress just how important it is that you talk to him. If you were to speak to him on this issue, then you would not have to guess at his intentions but rather, you would be able to clearly and concisely ask him regarding his distant and cold manner, and if it is because of his love for you, you may set the poor man’s heart at ease, or if it is for his love for another, you may then set your own poor heart at ease. Regardless, it can help you both come to an amiable resolution regarding how to move forward in your friendship. You may find that it is easier to have him as a friend whose company you can enjoy, rather than as a lover whose motives you must discern.