Tag Archives: choose

Asking Him to Choose

Dear Mr. Knightley, 

Well here’s the situation. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year now and she’s beginning to hint at marriage. But I have decided to enter the military and pursue a career in the armed forces. Which means not only will I have to leave in order to go take training but also I may be deployed for a while. This is the best course of action for both of us, since the military will take care of further education and medical expenses when I get back. And the pay I will make will eventually be top grade. But she doesn’t seem like she is willing to wait. I can’t understand it. Obviously she cannot always have everything she wants exactly when she wants it. It would be nice but life does not work that way. We all have to make sacrifices. But she doesn’t seem like she’s willing. Now I’m beginning to wonder if maybe she does not love me as I love her. Am I wrong to take this path if its making her uncomfortable?

Thank you very much, 

Armedbut Notdangerous

PS. Hello from the Netherlands! 

 

Dont Leave

Torn between Love and Duty

 

Dear Armedbut,

You are in a very perilous situation. On the one hand if you were to follow your head and do the logical thing, you risk losing the one your heart belongs to. On the other hand, if you are to follow your heart and stay with her, you risk your future and hers as well. I think that is the key difference here. Your duty is first and foremost to the young lady, even if she does not understand it. She may not comprehend the sacrifices needed in order to have a happy and content life if she is so focused on the present. Immaturity is usually a passing thing, and most young ladies eventually learn that even handsome young men must work in order to provide their families with much needed sustenance.

I know you must be tempted right now to abandon your plans and simply live for the immediate gain that you would receive by staying close to your beloved. And marriage right now may seem a very pleasing thing to both of you. However, marriage is also costly, as are accommodations, as are children when they come. And while you may think that you will please your beloved now by giving her what she wants, in the end, she may grow to hate you for not giving her and her children what they need.

I would say the best course of action for you is to try and communicate some of this to her. Be forewarned, she will not take this well. And if she seems to, it may even be all the worse for you. But you must do the honorable thing. You must do your duty. If she cannot love you for that then she may not be the right one for you. Regardless, at the end of the day, you must do the right thing, so that you may rest as ease with a clean conscience. She cannot ask you to compromise that. No one ought to.

Cordially,

Mr. Knightley

 

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The Hardest Choice

Dear Mr. Knightley, 

I am divided about writing to you. Partly because I think I already know what you’re gonna say and partly because I have no idea what to do. You see, there are these two guys in my life right now. And they both mean a lot to me. And I feel a lot for them. But now Prom is coming up and I have to chose between them. And I don’t know who to chose….

Erick is really nice and funny and we get along really well (actually we work together so we see each other almost every day) and I know he likes me because he’s basically told me in every possible way except saying it out right. And I think the only reason he won’t is because he doesn’t want to ruin our friendship if I say no. 

Then there’s Ben. He’s smart, and handsome, and I’ve had a crush on him for a while now. And he’s finally started to pay attention to me. Not that he didn’t before. We were friends but we never really had a chance to spend time together just the two of us. But now we’ve started going to coffee together, just as friends, and reading books together, and it feels so good. 

I would feel like a jerk if I went to Prom with Ben, because of how long Erick has been basically in love with me. But I can’t help thinking that Ben and I fit together better and that we would have a better chance to maybe find love if we had a chance to spend more time together. I guess what I’m stuck between is what I feel I want to do and what I feel I should do. 

Any Ideas?

Divided Heart

Making a choice

Which one to chose

My Dear Divided,

I’m so very glad to have you as my first letter. Especially seeing as this letter pertains to my special talent, namely finding the right match for every single person left in Yorkshire and after that, the world. You see, love is such a wonderful thing there is no real reason for anyone to keep such a silly notion as singleness for long.

I would advise that you find out as soon as possible, whether or not this Ben has any kind of intention towards you. You may write him a letter, or you may have one of your friends ask one of his friends. But either way, ascertain an answer as soon as possible, so that you can find out if he is even worth considering. If he is, then go for him, for if Erick’s love is really as true and ardent as you have described, he shall only grow the more steadfast while you pursue Ben. And then if it doesn’t work out with Ben you know you always have Erick to fall back on.

I know this must sound terrible, but really, is it that wrong? You may find truest love with Ben and that is definitely worth the risk. And if Erick does not wait for you, then it may not have been real love after all, and then you have avoided quite a serious future entanglement. Test Erick’s love while also attempting Ben’s and you shall never find yourself wanting in admirers.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Jenings