Tag Archives: relationships

Love in a Playhouse

Dear Mr Knightley,

About a month ago I began stage-managing for a play (basically I’m the person that keeps everyone in line and makes sure there’s a show to put on after rehearsals are over), and I quickly became attracted to one of the actors. He’s funny, kind, thoughtful, and extremely talented. At first I didn’t think I had a chance (aside from being generally out of my league, he’s also about five years older than me), but we’ve become more and more familiar with each other. He’ll tease me, and joke with me, and recently he’s sought me out to tell me a story just because he thought it’d make me laugh (and it did).

I’ve never really been serious about anyone, but I know I’d be kicking myself forever if I didn’t at least try to…make something of this. Anyway, there’s only a week left of the play, and then I’m not sure if I’ll see him again. I wouldn’t exactly call us friends, so how should I go about…becoming a part of his life, I guess? I don’t want to just ask him out and have that be the end of it. I want to get to know him. Can you help me?

Sincerely,
Growing Desperate

 

Don't mix signals

Are they on the same page?

 

Dear Desperate,

 

It can often be difficult to try and navigate the frightening world of relationships. Especially when they begin to bud in a “professional” type setting. You are absolutely right in wanting to take things slow and establish some credibility first.

You might wish to try and ask him to coffee. This does not have to necessarily be a date. It’s simply coffee. During the conversation, try to find out as much about him and his interests as you can. Identify areas of common interest, and ask how he goes about pursuing them. Eventually the subject of events, or meetings or gatherings or conventions will come up. This is your golden opportunity to spend more time with him. To slowly and carefully integrate yourself into his life.

This will also give you a chance to get to know him better. Which means you’ll be able to really tell if you want to be more than friends.

 

Best of Luck,

Mr Knightley

 

 

 

 

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When He Won’t Take No for an Answer

Mr Knightly,

I was wondering how you feel I should deal with the advances of a man who I was involved with once and started ignoring me and now wants me back. I don’t feel that way about him anymore but he is being very persistent.

Sinselry,

Annoyed by Suitor

Guys who cant take a hint

No means no!

 

Dear Annoyed,

You should decide whether or not you can trust him after the way he’s treated you in the past. If you decide that it’s over and you don’t want anything to do with him, tell him. Tell him clearly. Make sure he understands. Do not leave things open in anyway. Even if you feel like you’d like to spare his feelings, its better to make a clean break, if that’s what you want.

Having said that, there are some people who…. for lack of a better term are less in touch with reality

tumblr_leodrzNaL61qzvb8zAnd if your person truly will not take no for an answer you have several options.

(A) get a restraining order
(B) get a new boyfriend to help him understand it really is over
(C) tell him you see him as a brother/gay best friend/good friend
(D) and there’s always…. murder ;)

 

 

 


Too Much Kinkiness

Knightley

So I work with this girl. And she’s super nice and funny and gorgeous. We’ve gone out for drinks and stuff before. The other night we went to her place afterward and it got a little steamy. But then she pulls out this weird riding crop thing with feathers on it and asked me to “beg for it”. I went along with it but I’m not gonna lie, it made me uncomfortable. Last night I went over and she had left a trail of rose petals throughout her apartment and then I found her (details removed) and that was a bit too much. HELP!!!

-Rose Petals DO NOT belong there

Image

Dear Petals,

A wise man once said “Don’t Diss It Till You’ve Tried It”. If you have already tried whatever she was doing with the rose petals and you didn’t like it, tell her to back off and go easy. But try it first, you never know, you might actually like it.

Sincerely,

Mr Knightley


A Cousin Courtship

Dear Mr. Knightley,

So I met this girl. And we totally clicked. I mean we get along really well and everything. Better than any gf I’ve had before. But the problem is last week was my big family reunion. And I ran into her there. Because turns out she’s my 2nd cousin, or something like that. Anyway, what do I do? We were already dating. But now I’m not sure if we should keep dating. Help!

-Kissing Cousin

Look but don't touch

Dear Kissing,

I think I understand your predicament. You must be worried that if you pursue your cousin people may question your motives. And it is true that many times close family marriages do occur for reason that are less than honorable. And this is all the more complicated when there are estates and titles involved.

Of course, if you are the entailed and your cousin one of the daughters of the current estate holder it does make things easier because you would be fulfilling your duty to your family and no one would be questioning your honor. However, if that is not the case, and if there is no apparent benefit for either of your resulting from the match, rest assured that society will most definitely make a scandal. Especially if you are spending the season in town.

My advice is that you would not want to comprise your own honor or the honor of your cousin. So I would recommend that perhaps if she is in town, you should go into the country, or vice versa. Allowing some room may give you better perspective to evaluate whether or not this is a proper and honorable relationship for both of you. It will also test the feelings you now share, to see if in fact they are truly as strong as they seem at this time.

Cordially,
Mr. Knightley


The Classic Conundrum…..

Dear Mr. Knightley:

How do I catch a girl’s attention? There’s a girl in one of my classes who’s cute and charming and I’d love to get a chance to talk to her, but she doesn’t know I exist. It’s a large class and she’s never spoken to me. She always leaves right after class, so I don’t have a chance to catch her then, and I can’t arrive early. Thanks for your advice.

Admiring from Afar

 

Love at first sight

Catching her eye

 

Dear Admiring,

Well I commend you for your bravery. So many people are merely content to sit and languish after the one they love, wasting their lives away pining for some unreachable Adonis or Venus. Success requires endeavor, so be ready to adventure forth if you wish to obtain the object of your affection. First of all, you should avoid confronting her directly with your love. This is brutish and without consideration for her, in that her feelings may lie elsewhere as well in that such directness places her in the position of having to respond to unsolicited advances. Rather, you should create the opportunity to further your acquaintance of her before letting her know how you feel about her. This can be done in several ways. You may attempt to be one of her partners during an assignment for the class. Or even better, the partner of one of the individuals in the class with which she has proven to be close with. It is also worth pursuing this individual’s acquaintanceship, since they may have more flexible schedules than she does, and it may be easier to become their friend. The friend of your friend is the path to surest victory.

Once you have valid grounds for speaking to her (either by being group partners or by working with her friend) you may find it appropriate to ask her to help you with a problem you have been having at class. This will prove her character to you as well as informing you of whether she currently has the time to entertain strangers in her life. Make sure you are at your utmost presentability at this time, since you most definitely want to be recognized for the right reasons, not the wrong ones. If she accepts, then have the meeting, making sure only to stay on the topic of school with slight divergences in the conversation to related topics. This will allow her to show whether she intends to take the meetings further while still also allowing her to stay on topic if in fact she is only entertaining your questions to be charitable.

However, the hardest hurdle to overcome is merely finding grounds to speak to her. The above method is one of several. You could also try asking her for a pencil, forgetting it each day, so that it becomes somewhat of a charming routine for her. Again, this allows her the room she needs to either open the door or shut it. If you feel an icy reply from her by the third asking do not continue and bring your own pencil the following class. This may in fact cause her to miss the routine, and gain you the attention you seek as well.

Above all, remember to be a gentleman. Let your invitations be soft at first, so that she may accept or decline your offers while maintaining her own honor, grace, and dignity. You would not want to force her association because it will be vapid and brief at best. Once you can speak to her, you may invite her to an event where several persons of her acquaintance will be present, to avoid unneeded discomfort on her part. From there, you may call her friend and call upon her with as much frequency as she desires. You should also take this time to get to know her father and brothers. Perhaps go out shooting with them. Also, do not forget the importance of her mother. When meeting her, take great care to compliment her on her parlor and the placement of the windows, as this proves you to be a person of discerning taste and good judgement. She will sing your praises once you have departed. And then you may be set to propose before next Michaelmas.

These are the fruits of endeavor; the success of the heart.

Cordially,

Mr. Knightley


A Quagmire in Questioning…

Dear Mr. Knightley,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now (last april we moved in together) but lately I’ve been feeling like he’s been drifting. It’s like he’s not spending any time with me. He’s doesn’t do things for me anymore like he did before. He doesn’t even say “I love you” anymore. I feel like he doesn’t love me anymore, or not as much, or I don’t know.

I guess my question is, how do I talk to him about it? I wanna ask him if he still loves me, but I don’t know how.

Sincerely,

Questioning Love

Dear Questioning (what a pretty name),

I must say, I do find this whole matter between you and your beloved somewhat troubling.

You see, when a man loves a woman, he often goes to great lengths to tell her that. Initially. He may buy her some ribbon in a shop window that he noticed she had her eye on, or he may pick her a nosegay on the walk up the lane to her father’s house. This all cumulates in his declaration of affection. However, once he has accomplished that, he often feels as if the deed has been done and sees no reason why it ought to be repeated. Your beloved may simply feel that his task is complete.

Contrarily, it may also be that he is unsure of his affection for you, or that it may even lie with another. If you were to confront him about this, his response will vary, depending upon the kind of man he is. If he is an honorable man, he will tell you the truth, which may be unsettling to hear (and many woman declare that they would rather not know, though, how sincere the sentiment is I do not know), but which will allow you to better understand what is happening and what to do about it.

If he is not an honorable man, then why in heaven’s name would you continue your association with him? A man of disrepute would only be a stain upon your honor and the honor of your family. And men such as those often leave havoc and destruction in their wake. But if you insist on continuing your relation with him, then be advised that he may shower you with love again after confronting him, but this love, while appeasing your heart for a time, is insincere and will only leave you all the more heartbroken in the end.

Either way, it is best I think, to speak to him and allow the question burning in your heart to be heard. He may be bringing you pain unawares, and this will allow him to mend his ways. Or perhaps he is unsure of his heart, and this will allow him to see the damage his insecurity has brought, and may mobilize him to reevaluate his heart and where his affections ought to lie.

Save yourself the agonizingly long distress of keeping this question inside.

Cordially,

Mr. Knightley