Tag Archives: marriage

Asking Him to Choose

Dear Mr. Knightley, 

Well here’s the situation. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year now and she’s beginning to hint at marriage. But I have decided to enter the military and pursue a career in the armed forces. Which means not only will I have to leave in order to go take training but also I may be deployed for a while. This is the best course of action for both of us, since the military will take care of further education and medical expenses when I get back. And the pay I will make will eventually be top grade. But she doesn’t seem like she is willing to wait. I can’t understand it. Obviously she cannot always have everything she wants exactly when she wants it. It would be nice but life does not work that way. We all have to make sacrifices. But she doesn’t seem like she’s willing. Now I’m beginning to wonder if maybe she does not love me as I love her. Am I wrong to take this path if its making her uncomfortable?

Thank you very much, 

Armedbut Notdangerous

PS. Hello from the Netherlands! 

 

Dont Leave

Torn between Love and Duty

 

Dear Armedbut,

You are in a very perilous situation. On the one hand if you were to follow your head and do the logical thing, you risk losing the one your heart belongs to. On the other hand, if you are to follow your heart and stay with her, you risk your future and hers as well. I think that is the key difference here. Your duty is first and foremost to the young lady, even if she does not understand it. She may not comprehend the sacrifices needed in order to have a happy and content life if she is so focused on the present. Immaturity is usually a passing thing, and most young ladies eventually learn that even handsome young men must work in order to provide their families with much needed sustenance.

I know you must be tempted right now to abandon your plans and simply live for the immediate gain that you would receive by staying close to your beloved. And marriage right now may seem a very pleasing thing to both of you. However, marriage is also costly, as are accommodations, as are children when they come. And while you may think that you will please your beloved now by giving her what she wants, in the end, she may grow to hate you for not giving her and her children what they need.

I would say the best course of action for you is to try and communicate some of this to her. Be forewarned, she will not take this well. And if she seems to, it may even be all the worse for you. But you must do the honorable thing. You must do your duty. If she cannot love you for that then she may not be the right one for you. Regardless, at the end of the day, you must do the right thing, so that you may rest as ease with a clean conscience. She cannot ask you to compromise that. No one ought to.

Cordially,

Mr. Knightley

 


An Indecent Proposal

Dear Mr Knightley and Mrs. Jenings, 

So I’ll just give you the short version. My boyfriend proposed to me. And I told him no. Not because I don’t love him, but because we’re just not at a good place right now. We’re living together and its been super stressful trying to balance that with work and going to school as well. Right now I almost feel like I need a break from a relationship, not to be starting a deeper and more complicated chapter in our lives. Of course he took it personally and now he’s talking about moving out. Honestly, I almost feel like that would be better. But I also don’t want to lose him. Because like I said, I do love him. I feel really trapped right now and I don’t have any close friends here in Boston so I was hoping I could try to bounce this off of you two and see if either of you had some advice. I know you’re trying to be clever or funny with this blog but a lot of the stuff I’ve seen on here have been surprisingly good. So thanks. I look forward to your answer. If you don’t want to feature this one on the blog you can just email me at (email removed). 

Thanks, 

Kelsey 

The Proposal

The Wrong Question

My Dear Kelsey,

You are quite a smart girl indeed. For you have behaved very well in this situation. You are still young and I daresay many a young gentleman may still court your hand. Taking the very first offer of marriage you receive would be foolishness indeed! Now as for the young man, you must not let him feel too down hearted. That is not to say accept his proposal. Only make sure that he feels that there is still some hope. Do not let him feel like some jilted lover, but rather that he is just another poor wretch suffering under Cupid heavy burden of unrequited love. That way if you find, in time of course, that you do in fact wish to be his wife, you may finally “come round” and return his feelings. He will feel all the greater for having endured loves trials and prevailed, as all men do feel when they get to conquer something, and you may have the satisfaction of knowing that you have made a choice to ensure you own happiness forever.

Regarding this whole matter of living together, it may be difficult to keep him at a distance far enough to entertain other suitors if he does live with you. So perhaps severing your current arrangement would be best. Only again, make sure to ensure his affection for you before you sever it. This is of the utmost importance!

Best of luck dear girl!

Mrs. Jenings