Dear Mr Knightley,
About a month ago I began stage-managing for a play (basically I’m the person that keeps everyone in line and makes sure there’s a show to put on after rehearsals are over), and I quickly became attracted to one of the actors. He’s funny, kind, thoughtful, and extremely talented. At first I didn’t think I had a chance (aside from being generally out of my league, he’s also about five years older than me), but we’ve become more and more familiar with each other. He’ll tease me, and joke with me, and recently he’s sought me out to tell me a story just because he thought it’d make me laugh (and it did).
I’ve never really been serious about anyone, but I know I’d be kicking myself forever if I didn’t at least try to…make something of this. Anyway, there’s only a week left of the play, and then I’m not sure if I’ll see him again. I wouldn’t exactly call us friends, so how should I go about…becoming a part of his life, I guess? I don’t want to just ask him out and have that be the end of it. I want to get to know him. Can you help me?
Are they on the same page?
It can often be difficult to try and navigate the frightening world of relationships. Especially when they begin to bud in a “professional” type setting. You are absolutely right in wanting to take things slow and establish some credibility first.
You might wish to try and ask him to coffee. This does not have to necessarily be a date. It’s simply coffee. During the conversation, try to find out as much about him and his interests as you can. Identify areas of common interest, and ask how he goes about pursuing them. Eventually the subject of events, or meetings or gatherings or conventions will come up. This is your golden opportunity to spend more time with him. To slowly and carefully integrate yourself into his life.
This will also give you a chance to get to know him better. Which means you’ll be able to really tell if you want to be more than friends.
Best of Luck,
All my friends seem to be so talented. And I suck. I want to start playing an instrument but I don’t know which one to start on. What instrument would you recommend?
You can’t stop the music
I would recommend the glockenspiel myself. Not enough people can appreciate the subtle nuances of glockenspielsong anymore. Also, if you find it difficult, you may also want to pick up the ukulele.
Below is a video describing the positive aspects of ukulele music.
And beneath that is a quick instructional video on playing that same song.
i feel like there’s two people inside of my head and one of them is a young girl and wants to have fun and do things and then I have this old woman inside of me that just says that I should wait and not do it because I might be pregnant or get a disease or stuff so what should I do thanks. KiKi
Yes, my precious…
You may need to seek mental help. However, if the old woman begins to refer to you as her precious and to make you inclined to go down deep dark holes and retrieve ancient elfen rings, that may turn out to be a good time, so give it a whirl. Other than that, don’t do drugs and stay in school I guess.
What do you think about gold diggers? You know those poeple who use other people’s love to get things? My roommate is currently seeing a man much older than her. I know she doesn’t love him. But he buys are all this stuff so thats why she loves him. She says its the best and I should do it too. How can I become a gold digger?
Now I aint saying she’s a gold digger…
The best way to go about getting what is commonly known as a “sugar daddy” is to work at a high end cocktail and cigar bar, on a golf course, or as a maid for hire to a rich family. You must act confident, aloof, and wear slightly revealing clothing. Focus on making your backside look well, since that tends to be somewhat of a fixation for older, wealthier men. Then, you must act as if the jokes he tells are extremely funny. Don’t always let him slap your backside. Sometimes act uninterested. This way, you will real him in until finally you have him hooked. Just be warned, a younger or prettier girl could easily steal him away, so be on your guard. Do not let any competitor live… or at least walk away.
Best of luck on your endeavors,
Hi Mr Knightley,
I can’t stand it! It’s summertime and there are so many cute boys walking around without their shirts on and its like I can’t go out in public without seeing one and getting so worked up over what I would say if they came up and talked to me. Then I do something stupid like trip or something and of course that’s when they finally notice me. What do I do? How can I stop myself from making a fool of myself?
First off, don’t worry. It’s almost fall anyway. In the meantime here’s some suggestions. You could try taping your eyes shut but that may cause a whole set of different problems. You could move to someplace where it’s constantly cold, like Greenland or my ex’s heart. But that costs money. Your final option is to embrace it. You are going to embarrass yourself anyway, right? So you might as well do it yourself and get it over with. Walk up to the cute boy and burp or fart or something. Worst case scenario he will ignore you like he already did. Best case scenario he thinks that’s totally awesome and you end up with the weirdest story to tell your great grand kids about how you found your husband.
Best of luck,
I was wondering how you feel I should deal with the advances of a man who I was involved with once and started ignoring me and now wants me back. I don’t feel that way about him anymore but he is being very persistent.
Annoyed by Suitor
No means no!
You should decide whether or not you can trust him after the way he’s treated you in the past. If you decide that it’s over and you don’t want anything to do with him, tell him. Tell him clearly. Make sure he understands. Do not leave things open in anyway. Even if you feel like you’d like to spare his feelings, its better to make a clean break, if that’s what you want.
Having said that, there are some people who…. for lack of a better term are less in touch with reality
And if your person truly will not take no for an answer you have several options.
(A) get a restraining order
(B) get a new boyfriend to help him understand it really is over
(C) tell him you see him as a brother/gay best friend/good friend
(D) and there’s always…. murder ;)
Dear mr knightley
I’m in love with a boy who doesn’t love me. I’ve decided to write him a latter about how I feel. But I don’t know what to say. What would you write?
Sent from my iPhone
What to say, what to say…
Well. If I were to write a letter such as this it would probably begin by saying how very glad I am that he is reading the letter. Then I would use that to transition into saying how he makes me happy.
Some men (who shan’t be mentioned) might say how in vain they have struggled but how it is not to be helped. That they ardently love. Against their reason and better judgement. While this sounds romantic it is in fact a bad idea. Because you would be telling the person you love that you wish you didn’t have to love them but you have to. Like getting a bad pair of stockings for Christmas and having to wear them.
I would be honest and genuin. I would say how I feel. And also that I understand that he doesn’t feel the same way. And that this letter does not come with any new expectation. That it is simply something I must get off my chest to be honest.
Of course, I would then also add that perhaps at the next village ball I may enjoy a dance or merely a turn about the room. Your gentleman friend may be a bit more at ease with that.
Best of luck, Wordless. May you find the right words.
My best friends just started dating and though its still kinda weird, it would be a lot less weird if they weren’t all over each other all the time. I mean at parties, at movies, at lunch. Its getting out of control and gross. How do I keep them off of each other?
Where is that hand going, sir?
Sometimes a subtle aside is all it takes to make someone realise that you’re embarrassing themselves. But that isn’t always successful. If they continue making a spectacle of themselves, you can try a more direct approach. Maybe send them a letter, or perhaps do a needlepoint or a watercolor showing the awkwardness of such social fraternization.
But if all else fails, my advise is find yourself a boyfriend or girlfriend (or both) and make an even worst spectacle around them. Make them see how uncomfortable they are making other people. Let them see just how gross public display of affection can be. That’ll teach them.
Dear Mr Knightley
Senior year ended for me and I’m getting ready to go to college in Vermont, while my girlfriend stays here in Utah. She has this crazy, unrealistic fantasy that we will keep our relationship going long distance. She knows I want to travel, that Vermont is only the beginning and after that I want to move to Europe or Australia. But she also insists that right now she wants to stay closer to her mother, who has leukemia. I feel like a jerk for saying this but, how do I break it off with her?
Trying to Cross the Distance
Major life choices like this are hard, but its better for her that you don’t leave things open ended or uncertain. It will hurt her and she is in a place where she could really use a shoulder to lean on. But that’s what she has friends and family for right now anyway. The best thing you can do for her is to break it off completely if you plan on breaking it off. Don’t try to give her hope,because that is false hope and she deserves at least your honesty. It will be extremely hard for you,but be strong and be a real man. Have the courage to tell her the truth about how you feel.