Category Archives: About Love

Love in a Playhouse

Dear Mr Knightley,

About a month ago I began stage-managing for a play (basically I’m the person that keeps everyone in line and makes sure there’s a show to put on after rehearsals are over), and I quickly became attracted to one of the actors. He’s funny, kind, thoughtful, and extremely talented. At first I didn’t think I had a chance (aside from being generally out of my league, he’s also about five years older than me), but we’ve become more and more familiar with each other. He’ll tease me, and joke with me, and recently he’s sought me out to tell me a story just because he thought it’d make me laugh (and it did).

I’ve never really been serious about anyone, but I know I’d be kicking myself forever if I didn’t at least try to…make something of this. Anyway, there’s only a week left of the play, and then I’m not sure if I’ll see him again. I wouldn’t exactly call us friends, so how should I go about…becoming a part of his life, I guess? I don’t want to just ask him out and have that be the end of it. I want to get to know him. Can you help me?

Sincerely,
Growing Desperate

 

Don't mix signals

Are they on the same page?

 

Dear Desperate,

 

It can often be difficult to try and navigate the frightening world of relationships. Especially when they begin to bud in a “professional” type setting. You are absolutely right in wanting to take things slow and establish some credibility first.

You might wish to try and ask him to coffee. This does not have to necessarily be a date. It’s simply coffee. During the conversation, try to find out as much about him and his interests as you can. Identify areas of common interest, and ask how he goes about pursuing them. Eventually the subject of events, or meetings or gatherings or conventions will come up. This is your golden opportunity to spend more time with him. To slowly and carefully integrate yourself into his life.

This will also give you a chance to get to know him better. Which means you’ll be able to really tell if you want to be more than friends.

 

Best of Luck,

Mr Knightley

 

 

 

 


When He Won’t Take No for an Answer

Mr Knightly,

I was wondering how you feel I should deal with the advances of a man who I was involved with once and started ignoring me and now wants me back. I don’t feel that way about him anymore but he is being very persistent.

Sinselry,

Annoyed by Suitor

Guys who cant take a hint

No means no!

 

Dear Annoyed,

You should decide whether or not you can trust him after the way he’s treated you in the past. If you decide that it’s over and you don’t want anything to do with him, tell him. Tell him clearly. Make sure he understands. Do not leave things open in anyway. Even if you feel like you’d like to spare his feelings, its better to make a clean break, if that’s what you want.

Having said that, there are some people who…. for lack of a better term are less in touch with reality

tumblr_leodrzNaL61qzvb8zAnd if your person truly will not take no for an answer you have several options.

(A) get a restraining order
(B) get a new boyfriend to help him understand it really is over
(C) tell him you see him as a brother/gay best friend/good friend
(D) and there’s always…. murder ;)

 

 

 


How to Write a Letter of Unrequited Love

Dear mr knightley

I’m in love with a boy who doesn’t love me. I’ve decided to write him a latter about how I feel. But I don’t know what to say. What would you write?

Sincerely,
Wordless

Sent from my iPhone

quil letter written regency era

What to say, what to say…

Dear Wordless,

Well. If I were to write a letter such as this it would probably begin by saying how very glad I am that he is reading the letter. Then I would use that to transition into saying how he makes me happy.

Some men (who shan’t be mentioned) might say how in vain they have struggled but how it is not to be helped. That they ardently love. Against their reason and better judgement. While this sounds romantic it is in fact a bad idea. Because you would be telling the person you love that you wish you didn’t have to love them but you have to. Like getting a bad pair of stockings for Christmas and having to wear them.

I would be honest and genuin. I would say how I feel. And also that I understand that he doesn’t feel the same way. And that this letter does not come with any new expectation. That it is simply something I must get off my chest to be honest.

Of course, I would then also add that perhaps at the next village ball I may enjoy a dance or merely a turn about the room. Your gentleman friend may be a bit more at ease with that.

Best of luck, Wordless. May you find the right words.

Cordially,
Mr Knightley


The Date Drinker

Mr Knightley

My boyfriend says Im more fun when I’ve had a few drinks. On the one hand I like that he isn’t a prude about me drinking. But I worry if that means that he doesnt like sober me. The real me. Should I just go with it? Or am I right to be concerned? And if so, how do I fix it?

-Alcoholic Lover

AlcoholicLover copy

Dear Alcoholic,

While I would never condone alcohol abuse (cough) here’s something for you to consider. One of the effects of inebriation is that it allows you to let go of your inhibitions. So ask yourself, is it that the real you is being masked by the alcohol, or rather, is it that the alcohol is allowing the real you to be seen. And if that is the case, maybe the problem doesn’t lie with the question of alcohol or sobriety, but rather what parts of yourself that you are not comfortable with, and asking yourself why that is. What is there about yourself that you don’t like and why don’t you like it? Why do you feel like that part of you shouldn’t be seen? Are you afraid people won’t like you? Take some introspection and call me in the morning. In the meantime, does your boyfriend not like the sober you? If he likes you regardless then it seems this is more of an internal problem. If he doesn’t like sober you, then he’s an a**hole. Dump his butt.

Sincerely,

Mr Knightley

 


The Shy Guy

Hi there,
I work in a cafe and there’s this boy that comes in all the time. He is quiet and cute. And he always sits by himself and reads. And pretends not to look at me. But then I keep catching him. And I kinda want to talk to him. But he is really shy and I don’t want to scare him away. Should I wait for him to make the first move?
Help
Lindsey

ShyGuy

Dear Lindsey,
He’s not going to make the first move. Go up to him (when you’re not working), pull the book out of his hands and throw it on the table (don’t lose his spot otherwise he’ll hate you forever), yank of his glasses and kiss him long and hard. If he doesn’t respond or doesn’t know what to do next, move on. He’s not worth your time.

Go get him tiger!
Mr Knightley


She Already Has A Boyfriend

Dear Mr. Knightley, 

I have a problem. I am in love with one of my best friends’ friends. But she’s in a relationship. And I know its wrong and I know I should stay clear of her, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before. No other relationship I’ve ever had has felt this way, this real. It’s hard to describe. Just thinking of her makes me feel warm and funny and I start grinning like some idiot. And I can’t even speak around her and my heart starts beating like crazy and I feel sick to my stomach. Since she and my best friend are friends, we spend a lot of time together, just the three of us. Which is so terrible because I know I should stay away from her but when I’m away from her I can’t stop thinking about her. I don’t know what to do. I can’t stay away from her. I can’t stop thinking about her. But I want to respect her relationship too. I don’t know what to do. It all feels so hopeless.

-Kyle

Three's a Crowd

Dear Kyle,

I am very sorry to hear about your sad situation. You are not alone. There are many men who are in similar situations as your own. Too often it seems love’s arrows only land where we cannot retrieve them. You are right in saying that you should not associate with the young lady. But it is definitely easier said than done. Love can be so painful and yet addictive all at the same time. One can often feel torn between what one knows one ought to do and what one wants to do.

However, you may want to consider some personal questions first. Do you feel that this is truly more than a passing fancy? Then you may wish to wait it out, remaining only her friend, until such time as you may be able to make your suit. However, know that your chance may never come if you do that. If at all possible you may wish rather to break off the friendship all together. It will be hard and painful but not as painful as the thousand and one small deaths you will die each time you are forced to be in her company and know that you may never reveal your true intentions to her.

Know that which ever route you take you will be forced to endure hardships. But both ends will be well worth it. If you decide to remain by her side it will not be easy. But if you are able to finally tell her how you truly feel, it will be a well deserved reward. If you decide to forgo her company, then it will also be difficult. However, when you finally do find that special girl whose love you may pursue freely, you will be glad to have cut all these ties you feel now. So know that while both paths are difficult, both may be well worth it in the end of the day.

Cordially,
Mr. Knightley


The Wavering Love

Dear Mr Knightly,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am sure you will pardon me for forgoing the niceties and getting straight to the matter at hand.
You see, during the last few months, I have found myself developing feelings for a close male friend. I have known him for 5 years now, but something changed over the last few months, and I found myself beginning to think of him more often, and in a different light. We started getting closer than before, glances were exchanged, and hands were held. But you see, as of lately, he has started becoming distant. Unfortunately, my heart still lies with him. I think of him constantly, I crave his company, I am at unease without his presence. 

I haven’t had a proper night’s sleep in ages, Mr Knightly. I must confess, I dearly miss it. I am waiting for these feelings to pass but it seems to be taking longer than usual. 

I do not wish to confront my friend. We have had issues in our friendship in the past and have managed to sort them recently and are enjoying a quiet phase. I would not want to ruin that. 

Please advise as to what I should do to move on, Mr Knightly. I’m waiting for my heart to return home, how do I quicken its journey?

Yours etc,

Miss Sloan

Their love kindled

That special touch

 

Dear Miss Sloan,

Thank you so much for your letter. Let me just say that I praise your bravery in writing about something obviously so close to your heart. Your situation is truly a troubling one. But I hope that I may be of some assistance.

It sounds to me that your gentleman friend may either be distancing himself form you because he is pursing another and does not wish to hurt you. Or it may be that he, in his glances and hand holding, was pursuing you and hoping for some sign of his affection returned. You are the only one who knows the particulars of the situation and which of these two scenarios seem more likely.

If he is pursuing another then you should no longer seek out his company, since it is not honorable for him, the other lady, or yourself. Also, if you are not so much around him, it will help to ease the longing. Remove from your possession all that reminds you of him. Spend time with other friends and engage in other activities to keep your mind occupied and slowly over time you shall no longer find so much pain in his memory. However, if he made his suit and felt rebuffed by you, then by all means, make a point to spend time in his company and allow him to see that the affection and admiration he felt is mutual.

However, most of all, I would have to stress just how important it is that you talk to him. If you were to speak to him on this issue, then you would not have to guess at his intentions but rather, you would be able to clearly and concisely ask him regarding his distant and cold manner, and if it is because of his love for you, you may set the poor man’s heart at ease, or if it is for his love for another, you may then set your own poor heart at ease. Regardless, it can help you both come to an amiable resolution regarding how to move forward in your friendship. You may find that it is easier to have him as a friend whose company you can enjoy, rather than as a lover whose motives you must discern.

Cordially Yours,

Mr. Knightley