Tag Archives: shy

The Shy Guy

Hi there,
I work in a cafe and there’s this boy that comes in all the time. He is quiet and cute. And he always sits by himself and reads. And pretends not to look at me. But then I keep catching him. And I kinda want to talk to him. But he is really shy and I don’t want to scare him away. Should I wait for him to make the first move?
Help
Lindsey

ShyGuy

Dear Lindsey,
He’s not going to make the first move. Go up to him (when you’re not working), pull the book out of his hands and throw it on the table (don’t lose his spot otherwise he’ll hate you forever), yank of his glasses and kiss him long and hard. If he doesn’t respond or doesn’t know what to do next, move on. He’s not worth your time.

Go get him tiger!
Mr Knightley

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Getting Tangled in the Undergrowth…

Dear Mr. Knightley, 

I am not a lady to throw myself in the path of other men; on the contrary, I am twice as likely to throw myself off of it…especially when the man is one I admire.

I know this is most impractical. Firstly, however, I am terribly shy. Secondly, I cannot shake the feeling that to pursue the object of my admiration under pretenses of friendship would be dishonest. For I feel, you see, so much more, though I am hardly well-enough acquainted with the gentleman to justify more direct flirtation.

But I tire of hiding in bushes as my gentleman passes by. It is degrading, and further more, I’m beginning to acquire leaf stains on all my favorite frocks. In short, I most humbly beg your advice.

I am yours, etc.

Offroaded Admirer

 

 

 

Dear Offroaded,

Let me begin first by saying that those women who throw themselves so wantonly in the path of men at the blink of an eye are most certainly not acting as any true lady ought to. A lady does herself no favor in so desperately pursuing a man, no matter what his rank may be. For not only will her motives be questioned but she will also find that men take greatest delight in the pursuit of a beautiful woman but when they find their target too readily or too easily, they often lose interest fairly quickly. It is much better to let a gentleman pursue you, giving him small signs and tokens of affection but holding back slightly, as to arouse his curiosity and enhance your own air of mystery. But keep in mind, having a reception too cold, too modest, or too dignified may thwart a gentleman’s suit all together.

However, it seems to me that your currently methods, of throwing yourself off the path all together, may mean that you never even reach this point. A gentleman cannot pursue your heart if he does not have the opportunity to do so. This is why it is so vital to stay upon the road. Even as the wanton must resist pitching themselves at the gentleman, the trepidatious must resist the urge to flee. Love requires bravery, as all things of true worth do.

Regarding your thoughts on using friendship, there is a crucial difference to be grasped. Pursuing the object of your desire under the pretense of friendship is dishonorable indeed, however, pursuing the honest friendship of the one you desire is in no way dishonorable. It is only in knowing him a little better that you may realize if he truly is the man of integrity and honor that his impressions have painted him to be. And it may be that in gaining your friendship that small ember of love may be quickened in his heart as well.

Let me warn you though from bitter truths reaped from my own path, it is by no means easy, to be so close and intimate with the one you truly love and respect and regard above all others, and to know that they may not ever see you in the same light. But a very wise man once wrote, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. And Love conquors all.”

If what you feel is so strong, then draw strength from it and stand strong upon the road. Let him draw nearer to you, and draw near to him as well. Learn to know your gentleman a bit better and allow him to know you more. It is only this way that mutual admiration and regard can blossom into the sweetest of all life’s blooms.

Cordially,

Mr. Knightley

Post Script. You may find this helpful in dealing with your stained frocks http://janeaustensworld.wordpress.com/2007/07/24/every-day-chores-of-laundry-and-scullery-maids-and-washer-women/


A Courting at Court…

Dear Mr. Knightley,

I recently met a girl, who gave me her number after we met standing in line for parking court. I’m normally a shy person, and I think people who do stuff like that are crazy. But she’s really cute. So, should I call her? What do I say? I think we might like some of the same stuff, and perhaps go to the same church. But I don’t know. Plus, like I said, I’m shy.

Please help, 

Shyly Standoffish

Dear Shyly (I believe I have a niece named that)

Life is complicated and love is often unexpected.

However, I may be able to assist you in making life a bit less complicated, and love a bit more expected. You see, you say that you are shy, yet you have feelings for this woman. At this point, you must decide, are the feelings that she strikes upon your heart powerful enough to overcome the fear you feel inside? If so, then you may have found true love, and at first sight, I might add. This is extremely rare and I would advise you pursue it quite thoroughly, as you may never have another chance at true love at first sight. As I said, uncommonly rare.

However, if you are still paralyzed with fear at the very notion of calling upon this girl, then perhaps this is more of a passing fancy, and you should not necessarily waste too much of your time on her. She may in fact be out of her mind, to be asking gentlemen to call upon her so freely. Let us hope that is the worst of it. Or, simply, she may in fact have felt a strong passion come over her at the sight of yourself. May this be encouragement against that crippling fear we mentioned before.

I would say that you ought to call upon her, regardless. For even if it is not love, it will be a grand opportunity to engage in the endeavor of conversing with a lady and will allow you the opportunity to overcome some of your social anxiety. And it is important for one to overcome such constraints, so that when you do meet that special someone who truly is worth your suit, you will not be bound by any fears or constraints, but will be free to rush to her father’s chambers and ask for her hand. He may also be able to advise the best manner in which to court her.

God bless your endeavor, my dear Shyly.

Remember, take heart, for love requires it.

Cordially,
Mr. Knightley