Tag Archives: advice column

Breathless for Breasts

Mr Knightley

I will just be frank. I like to look at boobs. But not fake ones or ones on the computer. I mean real life ones in person. But I am not very attractive so getting a girlfriend is not a option. I know you do not usually answer questions like this, but how can I find some, without a girlfriend?

-BooblessBob

Jane Austen Breast Obsession

So that’s what they look like in real life…

Dear Bob,

Strip clubs.
The thing you are describing are strip clubs.
Glad to help.
Stay away from my neighborhood.

Very Sincerely,

Mr. Knightley

Answer this question yourself below in the comments section, or remember you can always send mr knightley your own letter at dearmrknightley@gmail.com or using the form on the Write to Mr Knightley link above.

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Too Much Kinkiness

Knightley

So I work with this girl. And she’s super nice and funny and gorgeous. We’ve gone out for drinks and stuff before. The other night we went to her place afterward and it got a little steamy. But then she pulls out this weird riding crop thing with feathers on it and asked me to “beg for it”. I went along with it but I’m not gonna lie, it made me uncomfortable. Last night I went over and she had left a trail of rose petals throughout her apartment and then I found her (details removed) and that was a bit too much. HELP!!!

-Rose Petals DO NOT belong there

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Dear Petals,

A wise man once said “Don’t Diss It Till You’ve Tried It”. If you have already tried whatever she was doing with the rose petals and you didn’t like it, tell her to back off and go easy. But try it first, you never know, you might actually like it.

Sincerely,

Mr Knightley


The Break

Hi there,
My girlfriend and I are on a break right now. Does that mean I can sleep with other girls? Or would that be cheating?
Break Time

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Dear Break Time,

Ask yourself this. If the positions were reversed would you want your gilrfriend sleeping around with other girls right now? Not if you’re not there, right. Exactly my point.

Be Good,
Mr Knightley