How to Write a Letter of Unrequited Love

Dear mr knightley

I’m in love with a boy who doesn’t love me. I’ve decided to write him a latter about how I feel. But I don’t know what to say. What would you write?

Sincerely,
Wordless

Sent from my iPhone

What to say, what to say…

Dear Wordless,

Well. If I were to write a letter such as this it would probably begin by saying how very glad I am that he is reading the letter. Then I would use that to transition into saying how he makes me happy.

Some men (who shan’t be mentioned) might say how in vain they have struggled but how it is not to be helped. That they ardently love. Against their reason and better judgement. While this sounds romantic it is in fact a bad idea. Because you would be telling the person you love that you wish you didn’t have to love them but you have to. Like getting a bad pair of stockings for Christmas and having to wear them.

I would be honest and genuin. I would say how I feel. And also that I understand that he doesn’t feel the same way. And that this letter does not come with any new expectation. That it is simply something I must get off my chest to be honest.

Of course, I would then also add that perhaps at the next village ball I may enjoy a dance or merely a turn about the room. Your gentleman friend may be a bit more at ease with that.

Best of luck, Wordless. May you find the right words.

Cordially,
Mr Knightley

The Break

Hi there,
My girlfriend and I are on a break right now. Does that mean I can sleep with other girls? Or would that be cheating?
Break Time

Dear Break Time,

Ask yourself this. If the positions were reversed would you want your gilrfriend sleeping around with other girls right now? Not if you’re not there, right. Exactly my point.

Be Good,
Mr Knightley

The Almost Murder

Dear Mrs Jenings, 

My husband recently returned from the war in Afghanistan. He’s been acting strangely and not like himself. He spends most of his days sitting on the couch staring at the blank tv or in his garage cleaning his knives. I feel like I live with a complete stranger. I thought that if I were to try and talk to him then maybe he’d open up about what happened so I can help fix him. But instead he got angry. Very angry. He started yelling and screaming and pulled out one of his knives. He was saying that I was attacking him and that I should just accept him as he is instead of trying to change him. But he’s the one who has changed! Anyway, he sort of snapped out of it and dropped the knife and then started crying and apologizing. I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel safe around him anymore. Please help. 

-Tam 

Loosing his Temper

Dear Tam,

Well, now, love is like that sometimes, is it not. One moment you’re perfectly happy and the next you can’t stand to be around the person. Lovers’ quarrels are quick to mend though, so don’t fear too much my dear. And many a man has gone through things that causes them to change. Few people, yourself included, always stay the same way, I wager. Now, regarding this whole knife collection business, well, men need their hobbies. You should consider yourself lucky he didn’t take up shooting instead. Its easier to pull a knife back then to pull shot back.

Now, that all being said, while attempted murder of a spouse is certainly not unheard of, I do think it is in bad taste, at least in the current fashions. So it would seem best to avoid your demise. There are several ways of doing this. You could ask him to see a therapist but he probably won’t and most likely would just get angry again. You could just leave him, but that’s in bad taste too, since you will have to live with this unresolved at the back of your mind. Also, many a man thrown into a situation like that, especially the unstable ones, have actually gone after the women who left them. And once again your unfortunate end would seem unavoidable. So it would seem the best course of action, when you can’t change the other person, is to seem to change yourself. You’ll notice I said, seem. That is because once you have the appearance of acquiescence his guard will be lowered and you will find your influence much easier over him.

Best of luck my dear, and do not get too discouraged if it takes a bit of time. Sometimes you can simply wear a man down. They like to think that they are so strong and solid but they all give in eventually. They always do. Just keep at it.

Mrs. Jenings

Asking Him to Choose

Dear Mr. Knightley, 

Well here’s the situation. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year now and she’s beginning to hint at marriage. But I have decided to enter the military and pursue a career in the armed forces. Which means not only will I have to leave in order to go take training but also I may be deployed for a while. This is the best course of action for both of us, since the military will take care of further education and medical expenses when I get back. And the pay I will make will eventually be top grade. But she doesn’t seem like she is willing to wait. I can’t understand it. Obviously she cannot always have everything she wants exactly when she wants it. It would be nice but life does not work that way. We all have to make sacrifices. But she doesn’t seem like she’s willing. Now I’m beginning to wonder if maybe she does not love me as I love her. Am I wrong to take this path if its making her uncomfortable?

Thank you very much, 

Armedbut Notdangerous

PS. Hello from the Netherlands! 

 

Torn between Love and Duty

 

Dear Armedbut,

You are in a very perilous situation. On the one hand if you were to follow your head and do the logical thing, you risk losing the one your heart belongs to. On the other hand, if you are to follow your heart and stay with her, you risk your future and hers as well. I think that is the key difference here. Your duty is first and foremost to the young lady, even if she does not understand it. She may not comprehend the sacrifices needed in order to have a happy and content life if she is so focused on the present. Immaturity is usually a passing thing, and most young ladies eventually learn that even handsome young men must work in order to provide their families with much needed sustenance.

I know you must be tempted right now to abandon your plans and simply live for the immediate gain that you would receive by staying close to your beloved. And marriage right now may seem a very pleasing thing to both of you. However, marriage is also costly, as are accommodations, as are children when they come. And while you may think that you will please your beloved now by giving her what she wants, in the end, she may grow to hate you for not giving her and her children what they need.

I would say the best course of action for you is to try and communicate some of this to her. Be forewarned, she will not take this well. And if she seems to, it may even be all the worse for you. But you must do the honorable thing. You must do your duty. If she cannot love you for that then she may not be the right one for you. Regardless, at the end of the day, you must do the right thing, so that you may rest as ease with a clean conscience. She cannot ask you to compromise that. No one ought to.

Cordially,

Mr. Knightley

 

Stealing Her Husband Away

Dear Mr. Knightley, 

I am at my whits end! You see I think my husband has taken a mistress. Of course, there are many noble men who have mistresses but I cannot help to feel like I have been cast off, ill used, and forgotten. We own a large house on a college campus and so we often rent out rooms to help make ends meet. Well, one of our new tenants has a love for vintage books (my husband collects the stupid things) and now they are off every saturday to go parous the bookstores and garage sales and then they’re pouring over things in our small library at all hours of the day and night. I know you must think its all my head but I tell you its not. She’s stealing him away from me. The way she brushes seemingly innocently against him when she passes by or pretends to hand things to him but then accidentaly touches his hand! The other night I decided to see for myself so I snuck down the hall without making any noise to the library. I could hear their talking inside and then there was a thumping sound, and I knew that was it. So I opened the door and there they were, both on the floor and her face red from giggling. And when they both turned to look at me you could just see the guilt on their faces. And then afterward she has the nerve to come and try and talk to me and tell me it wasn’t what it looked liek and that they just dropped a book or something. She obviously thinks I’m pretty stupid! I am trying not to let on that I know exactly whats going on, I figure that way I can let them hang themselves when they think that they are getting away with it. What do you think Mr. Knightley? Am I wrong? I’m not, right! They deserve what’s coming to them! I’m the one that was the victim here. I’m the one that was wronged! I can’t just let them treat me like this. 

-Final Straw

A Small Distraction

Dear Final,

It is always a sad occasion when a loved one’s love begins to wander. And while it is regrettable, you must now ask yourself what you will do. Some women may believe their spouses regardless of whether or not they think they should and give them the benefit of the doubt. Others may play along as if they do not know whats happening only to suddenly and swiftly take their revenge. There are even some ladies I have heard of who have made arranegments with their husbands that either party may entertain others at their own discretion. However, before you jump to any or all of these, I would suggest that you speak with your husband about this. Yes, he will most likely be defensive, but if he still cares for you, he will also listen, and the two of you may be able to work things out before they quite possibly needlessly come to a head. Either way, if you’re having martial problems because of the young lady in question, you should ask her to move out first. This will bring much needed clarity to the situation. And as a final word of reccomendation, I would suggest that you show some interest in your husband’s passions. His fedility may not actually be on the line, but rather, he may simply be responding to someone showing mutual interest in the things he values. You do not need to enjoy vintage books. Rather, enjoy the joy and excitement that they bring to him. If your marriage is to survive this ordeal, you shall both have to find some sort of common ground to build it up.

Cordially,

Mr. Knightley

An Indecent Proposal

Dear Mr Knightley and Mrs. Jenings, 

So I’ll just give you the short version. My boyfriend proposed to me. And I told him no. Not because I don’t love him, but because we’re just not at a good place right now. We’re living together and its been super stressful trying to balance that with work and going to school as well. Right now I almost feel like I need a break from a relationship, not to be starting a deeper and more complicated chapter in our lives. Of course he took it personally and now he’s talking about moving out. Honestly, I almost feel like that would be better. But I also don’t want to lose him. Because like I said, I do love him. I feel really trapped right now and I don’t have any close friends here in Boston so I was hoping I could try to bounce this off of you two and see if either of you had some advice. I know you’re trying to be clever or funny with this blog but a lot of the stuff I’ve seen on here have been surprisingly good. So thanks. I look forward to your answer. If you don’t want to feature this one on the blog you can just email me at (email removed). 

Thanks, 

Kelsey 

The Wrong Question

My Dear Kelsey,

You are quite a smart girl indeed. For you have behaved very well in this situation. You are still young and I daresay many a young gentleman may still court your hand. Taking the very first offer of marriage you receive would be foolishness indeed! Now as for the young man, you must not let him feel too down hearted. That is not to say accept his proposal. Only make sure that he feels that there is still some hope. Do not let him feel like some jilted lover, but rather that he is just another poor wretch suffering under Cupid heavy burden of unrequited love. That way if you find, in time of course, that you do in fact wish to be his wife, you may finally “come round” and return his feelings. He will feel all the greater for having endured loves trials and prevailed, as all men do feel when they get to conquer something, and you may have the satisfaction of knowing that you have made a choice to ensure you own happiness forever.

Regarding this whole matter of living together, it may be difficult to keep him at a distance far enough to entertain other suitors if he does live with you. So perhaps severing your current arrangement would be best. Only again, make sure to ensure his affection for you before you sever it. This is of the utmost importance!

Best of luck dear girl!

Mrs. Jenings

Caught in the Act….

Dear Mr. Knightley, 

I’m so embaressed. Oh my god I cant believe I’m even writing this. Yesteday my boyfriend came over and we were in my room making out  and stuff and my mom came in and saw us(details removed) She doesn’t know we’re dating cause she and my dad said I can’t date till I’m out of high school but I’m a senior and she’s just driving me crazy! They’re super religios and like that.Anyway she didn’t yell or anything but didn’t say anything either so I don’t know. Should I just let it go and not bring it up? It’s super awkward and I kinda want to just tell them its my life, you know! Anyway, should I confront them or just act like nothing happened? I don’t know what to do.

-Akward Silence

Ps. I may not been wearing (details removed) when she came in…Actually he was just about to(details removed)  and then I (more details removed) but that was it.

An inopportune moment

Dear Awkard,

Well, I… I um…. let me just see here. I hope you do not mind but I did take the liberty of editing some of the more… extravagant details from your message. I mean no disrespect of course, I am merely thinking of the sensitivities of some of my readers. But I do think your question is a valid one and should be answered.

In short, I think that experience often proves that heeding the advice of someone older and wiser can be very much in your favor. And your parents can only be seeking your best interest and advancement in attempting to limit the amount of men in your life at this point in time. You may mistakingly place your affection in a fortune hunter or perhaps a man of less noble intentions, only to have your heart and dreams shattered. Not to speak of your own and your family’s honor. Now is the season of life that you should be refining yourself, polishing all of your finest skills and noble traits that an honorable man will seek in his future companion.

Regardless of whether you head my advice or not, I would strongly recommend you go to your parents and attempt to make amends. No matter how poorly their parenting may have been or how strongly you feel their interest conflicted concerning your future, they are still your parents after all and unless you are considering elopement (which ends poorly more often than not) you will have to live with them for maybe some considerable amount of time. Go to your mother, contrite and with humility, and ask her forgiveness. Sincerely if at all possible, but in the very least, for both your own comfort and her own, with the appearance of sincerity.

Youth can be a most trying season, and often it seems the end of the world. This is the magnificence of youth, to see all in greatest wonder and terror. When looking back, you’ll see the insignificance of many of your current tragedies. But you will also have something else. The flames you kindle now will be the sweetest to your memory, the loves the dearest to your heart. Take great care where you plant your affection, for it will be present with you for the rest of your days.

Cordially,
Mr. Knightley

Post Script: Again, I mean no offense but for future correspondence sake here is a small note: the correct spelling is embarrassed, yesterday, and religious.

A Quagmire in Questioning…

Dear Mr. Knightley,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now (last april we moved in together) but lately I’ve been feeling like he’s been drifting. It’s like he’s not spending any time with me. He’s doesn’t do things for me anymore like he did before. He doesn’t even say “I love you” anymore. I feel like he doesn’t love me anymore, or not as much, or I don’t know.

I guess my question is, how do I talk to him about it? I wanna ask him if he still loves me, but I don’t know how.

Sincerely,

Questioning Love

Dear Questioning (what a pretty name),

I must say, I do find this whole matter between you and your beloved somewhat troubling.

You see, when a man loves a woman, he often goes to great lengths to tell her that. Initially. He may buy her some ribbon in a shop window that he noticed she had her eye on, or he may pick her a nosegay on the walk up the lane to her father’s house. This all cumulates in his declaration of affection. However, once he has accomplished that, he often feels as if the deed has been done and sees no reason why it ought to be repeated. Your beloved may simply feel that his task is complete.

Contrarily, it may also be that he is unsure of his affection for you, or that it may even lie with another. If you were to confront him about this, his response will vary, depending upon the kind of man he is. If he is an honorable man, he will tell you the truth, which may be unsettling to hear (and many woman declare that they would rather not know, though, how sincere the sentiment is I do not know), but which will allow you to better understand what is happening and what to do about it.

If he is not an honorable man, then why in heaven’s name would you continue your association with him? A man of disrepute would only be a stain upon your honor and the honor of your family. And men such as those often leave havoc and destruction in their wake. But if you insist on continuing your relation with him, then be advised that he may shower you with love again after confronting him, but this love, while appeasing your heart for a time, is insincere and will only leave you all the more heartbroken in the end.

Either way, it is best I think, to speak to him and allow the question burning in your heart to be heard. He may be bringing you pain unawares, and this will allow him to mend his ways. Or perhaps he is unsure of his heart, and this will allow him to see the damage his insecurity has brought, and may mobilize him to reevaluate his heart and where his affections ought to lie.

Save yourself the agonizingly long distress of keeping this question inside.

Cordially,

Mr. Knightley