Hi Mr Knightley,
I can’t stand it! It’s summertime and there are so many cute boys walking around without their shirts on and its like I can’t go out in public without seeing one and getting so worked up over what I would say if they came up and talked to me. Then I do something stupid like trip or something and of course that’s when they finally notice me. What do I do? How can I stop myself from making a fool of myself?
First off, don’t worry. It’s almost fall anyway. In the meantime here’s some suggestions. You could try taping your eyes shut but that may cause a whole set of different problems. You could move to someplace where it’s constantly cold, like Greenland or my ex’s heart. But that costs money. Your final option is to embrace it. You are going to embarrass yourself anyway, right? So you might as well do it yourself and get it over with. Walk up to the cute boy and burp or fart or something. Worst case scenario he will ignore you like he already did. Best case scenario he thinks that’s totally awesome and you end up with the weirdest story to tell your great grand kids about how you found your husband.
Best of luck,