The Lone must Languish….

Dear Mr Knightley,
I have been single for a while now and my friends are starting to try to convince me that I need to get out and date again.  They haven’t gotten to the point of actively setting me up yet, but they are hinting that I should to be going places where the right sort of guys would be likely to find me.  I don’t really want to be in another relationship at the moment, but my friends are often wiser than me.  Should I stand my ground?  What should I do?

Lone Wolf

 

Lonely

Lonely and Lachrymose

 

Dear Lone,

Please excuse me if it seems to me that the explanation to your query is somewhat simple. All you must do is ask yourself one simple question: whose judgement do you trust the most? That is to say, if you were to make an honest assessment of your past, whose judgement concerning relationships has proven more true? For some people, their own judgement is an ever fixed lodestone and if they simply follow their heart they find their happiness. However, for others (and I dare say most), their judgement is impaired when it comes to relationships. This is the great benefit of companionship.

However, if you have established that you are in fact the better judge of your relations than your close companions, head not their foolish directions but rather follow that of your heart. Only, take care that past failures do not allow self doubt to stalk in, which could distort your perception of your situation. If your heart has proven true in the past, then let it lead you, and fear not to tread its path, for truest, surest love is an ever fixed mark and it can weather the seas of maidenhood until you find the man destined to claim your heart.

But do not discredit the views of your companions all together. They may sometimes still see a bit farther than you can. Instead, while they simply advise you, allow them, taking all their advice with consideration and a measure of salt. If they do insist on introducing you to a gentleman, do not resist them, but rather, with all graciousness becoming a lady, allow the meeting to take place and use it to hone your own skill in conversation and wit. Remember, no matter the situation, there is always some manner of improving oneself to be found in any situation, as long as one’s mind is clear and one’s heart is focused.

And who knows, there is always a chance that one of these chance encounters of a friend’s doing may lead to that most bless’d love that we all so longingly seek after.

Cordially,
Mr. Knightley

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About Mr. Knightley

There is one thing a man can always do, if he chooses, and that is his duty. View all posts by Mr. Knightley

3 responses to “The Lone must Languish….

  • mrsjenings

    Ahh, you poor sweet child.

    Let me tell you that you should always trust the words of your friends when it comes to matters of the heart. Most people are quite incompetent when they follow their own hearts. That is why we have friends!

    Now, what you must do, is listen to them. When they send a nice young, gentleman of worth your way, you must embrace the opportunity! You never know what secret lives people lead until you begin winkling it out of them! And you can’t very well winkle if you’re not going out and enjoying the season.

    Rest assured, you may feel right now, momentarily, that you do not need a relationship, however, there is nothing a woman wants as much as the thrill of being pursued! Once you go out there and experience it again, you will remember just how much you have actually missed it!

    And then you may feel free to write me back and thank me, but take care to mention all the details of the courtship and not leave a jot or tittle out of it! For I shall know if you do! I always know!

  • charlotecollins

    Mrs. Jennings, I’m sure, is the very best friend to trust in matters of the heart. However, I would say that you should take not trust in your friends advice too closely. For only you know what struggles and hardships your heart may endure. But do take care not to trouble your family by ending an old maid. Sometimes we must make sacrifices in order to reap greater benefits later. I would say take every opportunity to meet gentlemen of worth, whether through friends or otherwise. You never know when a gentleman will suddenly find himself in want of a wife. You must be constantly prepared.

  • missmariannedashwood

    Really I am shocked at all three of your responses so far! All so cold and distant! My dear, sweet Lone. You should not trust your friends or circumstances in any of this! It is after all not their hearts that are at stake but your own! And you will be the one to bear the heartache afterward if it goes ill. They risk nothing at your expense. Let them and their advice rot! Follow your heart. When the right gentleman comes along, you shall feel it again, beating again with life and hope and brimming with love. They cannot know this for you. Only you can know when the right time has come.

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