Dear Mr Knightley,
I have been single for a while now and my friends are starting to try to convince me that I need to get out and date again. They haven’t gotten to the point of actively setting me up yet, but they are hinting that I should to be going places where the right sort of guys would be likely to find me. I don’t really want to be in another relationship at the moment, but my friends are often wiser than me. Should I stand my ground? What should I do?
Please excuse me if it seems to me that the explanation to your query is somewhat simple. All you must do is ask yourself one simple question: whose judgement do you trust the most? That is to say, if you were to make an honest assessment of your past, whose judgement concerning relationships has proven more true? For some people, their own judgement is an ever fixed lodestone and if they simply follow their heart they find their happiness. However, for others (and I dare say most), their judgement is impaired when it comes to relationships. This is the great benefit of companionship.
However, if you have established that you are in fact the better judge of your relations than your close companions, head not their foolish directions but rather follow that of your heart. Only, take care that past failures do not allow self doubt to stalk in, which could distort your perception of your situation. If your heart has proven true in the past, then let it lead you, and fear not to tread its path, for truest, surest love is an ever fixed mark and it can weather the seas of maidenhood until you find the man destined to claim your heart.
But do not discredit the views of your companions all together. They may sometimes still see a bit farther than you can. Instead, while they simply advise you, allow them, taking all their advice with consideration and a measure of salt. If they do insist on introducing you to a gentleman, do not resist them, but rather, with all graciousness becoming a lady, allow the meeting to take place and use it to hone your own skill in conversation and wit. Remember, no matter the situation, there is always some manner of improving oneself to be found in any situation, as long as one’s mind is clear and one’s heart is focused.
And who knows, there is always a chance that one of these chance encounters of a friend’s doing may lead to that most bless’d love that we all so longingly seek after.